The Adventures of Team Nightmare
by DynamicKayos
Summary: When Fang the Sniper calls upon two people to join him on a world domination quest, what madcap action will follow. Please read! Contains mainly OC's. Flames accepted, laughed at, then eaten.
1. Prologue: The Team is formed

**The Adventures of Team Nightmare!**

A Sonic fanfiction by DynamicChaos

Hello, readers. Does anyone care about reviewing? No one bothered to on my other two Naruto stories. Have a heart and review on this one! This is my first paragraph form story so cut me a little slack. So, on with the story!

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It was a quiet night in Station Square. A lone figure stood on a rooftop. Her name was Carnage. She was a hedgehog, 15 years of age, with black fur and purple highlighted quills. She looked a lot like Shadow, only feminine.

"I love nights like this," she whispered. Suddenly, her cell phone rang, breaking the almost perfect silence like glass hitting a brick wall. She sighed and answered it.

"Hello?" she said, slightly agitated.

"Hello, Carnage," said the voice on the other end. It was unfamiliar but defiantly male. "You do not know me, but I know you. I have a proposition that you may find interesting. Meet me at the junkyard gates in half an hour. Don't be late!" The phone hung up.

"Well," thought Carnage, "what have I got to lose?" Carnage sped off in the direction of the junkyard.

In an apartment on the other side of the city, a cat sat meditating. His name was Bane, age 16, with white and orange fur. He was clothed in a black cloak that marked him as a legendary Cat Mage, an almost extinct race of magi hunted down by the government for use of magic. He sat there meditating when the phone rang. Bane instantly broke his concentration, causing all the lights in a 1.5 mile radius to go out.

"Drat." said Bane picking up the phone. "Hello, you've reached Bane Arnax, Cat Mage 2nd class. Being such I know what you want and will be at the junkyard ASAP. Good evening." Bane hung up before the guy on the other end could get a word in edgewise.

30 minutes later…

Carnage had just arrived at the junkyard. She heard the sound of a vehicle approaching. The vehicle, an air bike, drove up 5 feet away from Carnage. The driver got off and approached her.

"So, are you the one who called me here?" asked Carnage. The man nodded and was about to remove his helmet when…

"Hoo-Ra!" shouted a voice from the sky. The two furries looked up to see a giant raven approaching them accompanied by 'The Ride of the Valkaries'.

"OMG! What the heck is that?" shouted Carnage.

"I think that is the other person I called." said the bike guy. The raven landed near them. The cat riding in dismounted and turned off the music.

"Greetings, cohorts!" he exclaimed. "I assume one of you mammalian pedestrians summoned me via a voice transporting device."

"What?" asked the two.

"Did one of you call me?" asked Bane. The biker approached him.

"Yes, magi," Said the guy. "It was I." He removed his helmet to reveal. "Fang the Wolf!"

"EGAD!" exclaimed the cat and hedgehog.

"Ah, have you heard of me?" inquired Fang.

"NO!" said the two. Fang sighed. It wasn't his fault he was only in, like, 4 games.

"Look," said he, "I called you here because I require assistance in pulling off the biggest schemes in all time." Fang paused. "We are going to take the world!"

"DOUBLE EGAD!" exclaimed the non-wolfs. Fang smiled.

"Why do you want us?" asked Carnage.

"Well," began Fang, "I know you both have talents that can be useful. I'm a master thief, Banes a magus, and, well, you." he smiled knowingly at Carnage.

"Well, I'm all for it," said the mage. Carnage just shrugged.

"Great," said Fang, "Now, all we need is a base of operation." Bane grinned.

"I have just the thing," said Bane. "Stand still and keep all arms and legs inside the teleportation at all times."

"Teleportation?" asked Carnage warily, but it was too late. The world spun around them at a breakneck pace. Suddenly, it was over.

"Whoo!" exclaimed Bane. "I love teleportation. Now, this is my apartment. Fang, you have the couch and Carnage can take the guest room."

While Bane was talking, Carnage walked around. She eventually came to a black door. Curious, she opened it.

"No!" shouted Bane, "That's…" But it was too late. Carnage opened the door. The room was lit by a red light. The walls of the room were painted black and covered with graphic, mind-numbing paintings. In the corner was a trunk with what appeared to be a hand sticking out of it. To the passing observer, the room disfigured Heck itself. Seeing this, Carnage fainted.

"Whoa," said Fang, "What was that?"

"That," began Bane, "Was my bedroom." "This is going to be one heck of an adventure." He thought.

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To note, this is probably the longest chapter. So, what will happen to our heroes/villains? Review, review, review and stay tuned!


	2. Chapter 1: The first morning

DC: Hello, people. Do any of you who read these stories review? I only got **1** freakin' review! It makes be feel mediocre when no one reviews. Sigh. Oh, and thank you SergeantKlump (sorry if it's spelled wrong) for the name info. It turns out Fang's name is Fang the Sniper. It's that or Nack the Weasel. Shudder. So, on with the story!

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Carnage awoke the next morning, confused at her surroundings. After spending most of her life on the streets, awaking in a soft bed with blankets was new. Then she remembered the previous night. "Oh, yes," she thought, "I'm at that cat's house." She got out of bed and walked into the living room. "Nice place." she said out loud.

"Yes it is, Miss." said a voice behind her. Carnage spun around and saw she was not alone. Standing behind her was a raven. He looked almost exactly like Jet, the infamous leader of the Babylon Rouges, except he was black and his eyes were purple.

"Who are you?" asked Carnage, bewildered. Except for her and the cat, she assumed that Fang the Sniper was the only other person in the apartment.

"Oh, I am just a humble servant." said the raven. "You can call me Shade." Shade smiled a sly smile. "Would madam like to change into some casual clothes for the day? To my knowledge, undergarments are not the best thing to gallivant about town in." Carnage blushed. "Don't worry, you can find some clothes in the wardrobe in your room." Carnage rushed to her room to change.

After about 10 minutes, Carnage emerged from her room wearing a purple tank top and black shorts. She walked into the kitchen to find everyone there. Bane and Fang were talking and Shade was cooking breakfast.

"Ah, welcome Carnage," greeted Bane, "Have you met my butler, Shade?" Carnage nodded, slightly blushing at the memory of their meeting. "Good," replied Bane, "Take a seat and breakfast will be ready soon." Carnage sat down next to Fang. After a few minutes, Shade brought the food to the table. There was sausage, eggs, bacon, pancakes, biscuits, and a wide assortment of other breakfast food to put IHOP to shame. Carnage had never seen so much food in her life.

"I hope sirs and madam find the meal to there liking." said Shade.

"Well, dig in." said Bane. And they did.

After breakfast, the team assembled in the living room to discuss their plan; or lack thereof.

"So," began Fang, "Since I organized this operation I would like to propose an idea. I suggest that we begin by searching for the Chaos emeralds. Do we all agree?" Bane stood up.

"I think that is a great idea, and it just so happens I have a tool that could make this job easier." He ran to his room. 15 seconds later he returned with what appeared to be a flat plate made out of badly chipped pink glass. "This," he said holding it up for all to see, "Is a scrying glass. I can use this to see the location of the emeralds." Before he could, though, Carnage stood up to speak.

"Are you suggesting that we can use that piece of junk to find things?" she asked mockingly.

"Well, do recall that last night I managed to teleport you, Fang and me from the junkyard to here, which is 5 miles away. Also, when you looked in my room the magical aura was strong enough to knock you unconscious." Carnage bristled. She didn't like being reminded of her faults.

"So, how does it work?" she asked mildly.

"Well," said Bane smiling, "I'll show you." Bane set the glass on the table and began chanting. Suddenly, the plate rose and began reflecting images. A beach, a battleship half submerged in water, a stadium, a tower, an island, a high-tech looking base, and a mansion. As quickly as they appeared, the images vanished and the plate fell, chipping it more.

"Wow." muttered Fang and Carnage. Bane stood up.

"What you just saw," he began, "Were the location of the emeralds, and it looks like the first stop is Emerald Coast. Get changed into your swimsuits and let's go!

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Well, it looks like the quest is on for our heroes/villains. What adventures wait at Emerald Coast? What challenges lurk at the other seven locations? Why am I asking you these questions? Review and stay tuned!

P.S. I guess all the chapters will be long. Sorry for the lie.


	3. Chapter 2: Emeral Coast chaos

DC: Wow, guys. An 'awe inspiring' total of **20** people read this story. Seriously, if you think this is good, tell your friends and review. I still only have one review.

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It was a normal day at Emerald Coast. The sun was shining brightly, children were playing in the sand, and everyone was having an overall good time. That is, until Team Nightmare showed up.

"I don't understand why we have to drive this…thing," complained Carnage, wearing a light blue two-piece swimsuit. The team had crammed themselves into Bane's brown '72 Volkswagen. "Why don't you just teleport us?" Bane sighed.

"Haven't I told you?" asked Bane, "The government is, whether you know or not, initiating a genocide on my race. If I do magic, it increases the chance of them finding me."

"Why are they hunting you?" asked Carnage with genuine concern, which was something she didn't do often.

"They fear that we are too powerful to be left alone." replied Bane. "The funny thing is, though, that there hasn't been a recorded Cat Mage murderer since 281 B.C."

"Look, we're here," said Fang suddenly, "And just check out those ladies." Bane slapped him.

"Fool!" exclaimed Bane, "Do not be swayed by these bikini-clad females. We need to find the emerald." Team Nightmare leapt out of the car. "O.K." continued Bane, "I'll take the east side, Carnage, take the west side, and Fang can look wherever he wants to. One, two, three, break!" The team split up.

* * *

Bane took his time, trying to hone in on the emeralds power. A lot of people gave him weird looks, not just because he was walking around with his eyes closed, but because he was wearing his trademark cloak and cone hat. He suddenly stopped in front of a bat with white fur.

"Can I help you?" inquired Rouge in her usual seducing voice. Bane opened his eyes and looked down at the bat. He saw she was wearing a ring with a large red gem in the center.

"Ah, the emerald," Bane thought to himself, "I must secure it." He cleared his throat. "Hello, miss, I couldn't help but notice the extravagant ring you are wearing. May I examine it closer?" Rouge laughed.

"In you're dreams, goth." she said. Bane sighed.

"Very well." said Bane. He started chanting under his breath and cast a **Sleep **spell. Rouge instantly fell asleep. Bane **Summoned** the emerald into his hand. "Too easy." he thought as he walked away. Little did he know he was being watched.

* * *

"Sir, I've found him." said an average looking beach visitor into an army grade walkie-talkie.

"Very good, private," said a deep voice on the other end, "execute order sixty-six." The private sighed. "Sorry," apologized the deep voice, "I just love Revenge of the Sith. Seriously, take him down." Private nodded. "It will be done."

* * *

Carnage was walking around searching for the emerald when she ran into Bane. "Don't worry," said Bane, "I have the emerald. So, where's Fang?"

"Oh, he's over by the snack bar." answered Carnage. "Let's get him and split." Bane agreed and they went to find Fang.

* * *

"So, baby, what's your name?" asked Fang to a beautiful blue vixen in a yellow bikini.

"My name's Samantha," replied the female fox lusciously, "Who are you?"

"I," began Fang, "Am God's gift to female kind. Now, let's go back to my place for a little, I don't know, alone time." Samantha giggled flirtatiously. It was then Bane and Carnage chose to intervene.

"Hi, Fang!" exclaimed Bane and Carnage simultaneously, wrecking the moment. Samantha eyed Bane's garb.

"Uh, who are you?" asked Samantha.

"I am Bane Ar-" he was interrupted by four helicopters, two tanks, and fifty ground troops that appeared from nowhere.

"Bane Arnax!" exclaimed Private, "we have you surrounded, magic scum! Surrender!" Bane just chuckled.

"Finally caught up with me, eh? Well, I won't go down without a fight!" Bane launched a **Fire Bolt **at the helicopters. It bounced off harmlessly.

"Ha!" said Private, "We equipped ourselves with magic prove armor. You are powerless!"

"Well," smirked Bane, "I guess you'll have to catch me!" Bane teleported, himself, Carnage, Fang and Samantha back to his apartment.

Private growled. "Some day, Bane, I will have you."

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Mmm, I smell a blockbuster! Looks like Fang's got himself a date, but will it last? Can anybody guess the last six locations of the emeralds? Review with the correct answers and you'll see your name in the next chapter! I won't write anymore until I get al least five reviews!


	4. Chapter 3: A past revealed somewhat

DC: Fine, I'm impatient. I'm going to finish my story whether you like it or not. I'm surprised no one tried to guess. Oh, if anyone was wondering what 'Emerald Coast' is, it was in the game Sonic Battle for GBA. There'll be more locations from that game latter on.

Bane: So, on with the story!

DC: Hey, that's my line.

Bane: Don't care.

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Bane, Carnage, Fang and Sam landed in the water 10 feet away from the Egg Carrier.

"Bane," moaned Carnage, "You missed." Bane sighed.

"Don't blame me," said he, "I was under pressure." The team swam to the Egg Carrier. They climbed on deck.

"FANG!" exclaimed Sam, "you didn't tell me you were friends with a Cat Mage!" Fang shrugged.

"Honestly, I didn't think it was relevant, baby, I'm sorry." Fang said. Sam smiled flirtatiously. Bane groaned.

"Oh, just get a closet." He complained as he teleported them away.

"Where did you send them?" asked Carnage. Bane smiled devilishly.

"Oh, some place they could be _alone_. Come, we have an emerald to find." Bane grabbed Carnage's hand and rushed into the bowels of the ship.

* * *

Fang looked around. There was no one to be seen, except Sam of course. They were the only two. They were truly alone, in _South Dakota_! Fang looked at Sam and smiled. She smiled back. "Thank you Bane!" thought Fang as he lunged.

* * *

Bane and Carnage fought fiercely. Carnage used shuriken and homing attacks while Bane used cast **Fire bolts **and **Ice spears**. They finally managed to battle their way into the core of the ship. They paused to look around at the massive room. It was then they found their final task, the thing separating victory and defeat, the last conflict that needed to be cleared. There stood a little blue creature with a key in its back. When it noticed them it floated in the air and said…

"Don't forget, push the A button to jump."

"OMOCHAO!" exclaimed Bane. There in front of them floated Omochao, the annoying robot chao from Sonic Adventure 2.

"Ha," scoffed Carnage, "He doesn't look so tough." Omochao just floated there with a smile on his face.

"So go ahead and press A to jump, and while in the air, press A again to perform the Homing Attack."

"Don't mind if I do." said Carnage as she homing attacked him. Omochao waited until the last second, then…

"LUDICOUS SPEED!" Omochao shouted. Suddenly, he began to glow. Then he started running. He tore across the room, ran around the walls a few times and rammed into Carnage. She flew backwards and hit the wall.

"Carnage!" shouted Bane as he ran to her side. He checked her pulse rate, which was slowing. He stood and glared at Omochao. "You." he began, "You. Wasn't once enough? Could you not stop when you betrayed my family to the police? How could you do this to me again!" The room fell silent. Then Omochao laughed. He laughed and he laughed and he laughed.

"Foolish Cat Mage," started Omochao, all cuteness gone from his voice. "Don't you see? I've always been jealous of you and your people's powers. That is why I started the genocide. I spread rumors that the Cat Mages were planning to overthrow the government. Then you would be gone, and I could rule Supreme Mage!" He laughed again. Bane stood, not moving. "So," he thought, "I've been forced into hiding, not able to perform magic, not able to help the world as I was intended, because of him. I'm sorry, Elders, I must break the Ancient Code. I will _kill_ him!" Bane began chanting, gathering his energy. Omochao took notice and continued to chortle with dark mirth. Bane felt his power swelling to its bursting point. He could contain it no longer. He cast the most powerful Black Magic spell in existence.

"**VORTEX OF 1,000 NIGHTMARES!" **shouted Bane. Omochao looked up, but it was too late. The spell fell upon him like a tsunami against a paddle boat. He began to scream as the magic destroyed his mind, body and soul. As suddenly as it had started, it was over. Omochao was no more, leaving behind the chaos emerald. Bane fell to the ground in exhaustion. He crawled over and picked up the lifeless form of Carnage. No one person had Bane ever felt so attached to. And now she was dead, a lifeless reminder of his failure. He held her body close to his. As he did, he felt something. A heartbeat! Carnage was alive still. He held her tightly and ran his fingers through her quills.

"Carnage," he said, "I love you." he summoned the last amount of his power and teleported them home.

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I guess that was a little too much for the fourth chapter. I'll try to keep the standard in the ones coming up. Remember, the contest is still on, so submit your guesses by reviewing.


	5. Chapter 4: After the battle

DC: I don't understand why no one reviews. Is the story that bad? At least I have _one _devoted fan. Sigh. Anyway…

Carnage: On with the story!

DC: Stop cutting me off.

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Carnage woke up. She looked around and saw she was in her room. Bane was dozing in a chair next to her bed.

"Hi, Bane." she whispered. Bane woke up and smiled at her.

"I'm glad to see you're awake." he said, "You've been asleep for two days. We thought you were dead."

"Three days!" exclaimed Carnage. She bolted upright. Pain shot through her body. She cringed and lay back down.

"I wouldn't recommend doing that." cautioned Bane, "You have two broken ribs. You're lucky Shade is such an expert healer, or else you'd be dead."

"What happened after Omochao attacked me?" asked Carnage.

"Well," said Bane, "Let's just say he won't be bothering us ever again. He was using a chaos emerald, which I took. Now, go back to sleep." Bane cast a **Sleep **spell. Carnage tried to fight it but couldn't. She fell asleep.

* * *

Three days later, Carnage had fully recovered. She was sitting with Bane at the dining room table having some lunch. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Bane went to open the door. There stood Fang and Samantha.

"Why, bless me little Cat Mage feet," said Bane, "It's our canine friends back from South Dakota." Fang snarled and led Sam inside. They took a seat on the couch.

"Bane," said Sam, "Fang has something to tell you." Fang cleared his throat.

"Well," began Fang, "I am quitting the team."

"GASP!" gasped Bane and Carnage.

"Yes," continued Fang, "I'm going to go live with the most beautiful girl on the planet…"

"Holly Bailly?" interrupted Bane.

"No." responded Fang.

"Jennifer Lopez?" inquired Carnage.

"No." replied a frustrated Fang.

"Sarah Michelle Geller?" asked Shade. Everyone gave him weird looks.

"I don't know how to respond to that." said Fang. "Anyway, I was talking about Sam."

"Oh." replied Bane. "I thought you were talking about someone that had more romantic appeal than road kill." Carnage stifled a laugh. Sam growled. "Well, I won't stop your romantic affair, Fang. So, without further ado, goodbye." Bane teleported them away.

"Did you send them back to South Dakota?" asked Carnage.

"No," replied Bane deviously. I sent them someplace _much_ worse."

* * *

"CURSE YOU, BANE!" shouted Fang and Sam. Once again, they were stranded. They were all alone, except the cows. Miles and miles of cows filled the landscape. Fang and Sam had been sent to the most desolate place on the planet,_ Wisconsin_!

"Well, it looks like we need a new teammate." said Bane.

"Perhaps I can help." said a seductive voice from the shadows. The figure stood to reveal itself as…

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Yeah, it's a cliff-hanger! Who could this mysterious person be? Review please!


	6. Chapter 5: Enter the Dynamite Duck!

DC: Hey, people. I'm actually doing a disclaimer to take up space in the a/n. I don't own the Sonic cast nor do I own Yawackhary (SergeantKlump owns him). So…

Yawackhary: On with the story!

DC: I give up!

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"Who are you?" asked Bane and Carnage. The stranger who stood in their midst was a gold duck, male, with black eyes.

"I am Yawackhary of the Dynamite Ducks!" exclaimed the duck.

"Ah, the infamous Dynamite Ducks," said Bane, "I've heard of them. So, you want to join Team Nightmare and help take over the world?" Yawackhary shook his head.

"No, I was wondering if you could help me." confessed Yawackhary, "You see, way back when I was kidnapped by Doctor Eggman and tortured using bad anime pictures."

"Good God!" exclaimed the team.

"Yes. Well, now whenever I see or hear of Sailor Moon I go berserk and start blowing up stuff. I was wondering if you could cure me of this…problem." Bane scratched his chin.

"Perhaps, but I want you to join the team as payment." Yawackhary agreed. "Ok, I think a **Cleanse **spell should work." Bane began chanting. When he was finished he said, "Now for the test. Sailor Moon." Yawackhary stood silently. Then he pulled out a whole lot of bombs, started laughing maniacally and threw them everywhere. In seconds the apartment was completely destroyed.

"I take it that it didn't work." said Bane. Yawackhary was twitching on the ground giggling. Carnage sighed.

"I guess we need a new house." said she. Bane nodded in agreement. He threw the still giggling Yawackhary over his shoulder and proceeded down the street. Carnage followed.

* * *

After five minutes they reached another apartment building. The team walked up the stairs and approached a room. Bane reached into his pocket and pulled out a key. He unlocked the door revealing an exact replica of the first apartment.

"What the heck?" asked Carnage. Bane grinned.

"I don't like multiple décor," he began, "So I just have one apartment in many locations. It's magic, don't try to understand it." Bane laid Yawackhary, who had fallen asleep, on the couch. Bane walked to Shade's room and entered. There he saw Shade reading a 'Sailor Moon' comic book.

"Hello, Master Bane." said Shade, "Can I help you with anything?" Bane nodded.

"I'm going to need all your 'Sailor Moon' comics." he said.

"Uh, very well." Shade went into his closet and pulled out a huge wooden chest. He opened it to reveal piles and piles of comics.

"I have to do a better background check on my hired help." muttered Bane. He cast a **Flash fire**, instantly incinerating the evil mangas.

"Is there anything else, sir?" asked Shade on the verge of tears.

"Yes," replied Bane, "Acquire a better taste in anime." He spun on his heel and left.

* * *

In the living room, Yawackhary had awoken and was playing cards with Carnage.

"I must say, you are quite beautiful." said Yawackhary out of the blue. Carnage was taken aback.

"Uh, thank you." she replied hesitantly. It wasn't often she was complimented on her looks. Just then Bane entered.

"I have destroyed all references to S.M." he said, "Also, since I don't think Yawackhary should be allowed in public unsupervised, I am forcing him to join Team Nightmare lest he be sent to Wisconsin." Yawackhary shuddered at the thought. "So, he is now our official teammate." Yawackhary flashed Carnage a devilish smile. Carnage grimaced. "So," continued Bane, "It's time to continue our quest and head to… the 1st Mariner Arena!" Before Carnage or Yawackhary could protest, Bane teleported them away.

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Team Nightmare's headed to Baltimore City! What danger awaits them at First Mariner Arena? Will Yawackhary ask out Carnage? How will Bane respond if he does? Will anyone besides SergeantKlump review? Will I ever stop asking questions? Stay tuned!


	7. Chapter 6: Duel for the emerald part 1

DC: Hello, readers. I just want to thank SergeantKlump for letting me use Yawackhary in this story. Well, that's it. Hit it, Bane.

Carnage: On with the story!

Bane: Hey, it was my turn.

Carnage: Oh well.

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"Ladies and gentlemen," bellowed the announcer at the 1st Mariner Arena, "Welcome to the 3rd annual Battle Royale!" The audience cheered. "Now, direct your attention to the center ring as we introduce the contestants!" The spotlight lit up the center. Five teams stood there. "Please welcome our teams. Team Sonic, Team Rose, Team Dark, Team Chaotix, and Team 7 from the Hidden Leaf Village!" The crowd roared. Suddenly, heavy rock music started playing from nowhere. In a flash of lightning, Team Nightmare appeared.

"And don't forget us," said Bane in an amplified voice, "TEAM NIGHTMARE!" The audience went crazy with excitement.

"Bane, what are we doing here?" hissed Carnage.

"Shh," hushed Bane, "Pay attention."

"Now, to explain the rules," continued the announcer, "The team match-ups will be randomly selected on that screen." A random screen lit up. "Once the selection is made the two teams will battle in the ring. Once everyone on one team is either knocked off the arena or knocked unconscious, the team remaining will be the victor. No lethal attacks may be used." Team Dark groaned. "Also, the last team standing will win a chaos emerald. The first fight will begin in five minutes, so don't go anywhere!"

"A fighting tournament!?" asked Carnage, "Could you have told me?" Bane shrugged.

"I thought it would be cooler if you didn't know." he remarked casually. Carnage fumed.

"Well, too late now." said Yawackhary, "Their announcing the first match now."

"Well, let's go!" exclaimed Bane as he pulled the team after him.

"Now for the first match!" exclaimed the announcer. The screen randomized names until it showed… "Team Nightmare vs. Team Sonic!" The two teams walked onto the raised ring. "O.K. you know the rules," said the referee to the teams, "So, FIGHT!" The two teams faced each other. Suddenly, Yawackhary started twitching.

"Don't tell me S.M. is in the audience." moaned Bane. Yawackhary shook his head.

"No," muttered Yawackhary, pointing at Tails, "That fox is Ami Mizuno in disguise!"

"Swhat?" asked Tails.

"I think you're right." said Bane, "He's does look like a girl." Tails began to cry.

"You guys suck!" exclaimed Tails as s/he ran away. Sonic shook his head in shame.

"I should have known." he thought to himself. He looked at Bane.

"Well, I guess we should fight." said Sonic. Bane nodded while casting a **Detonation**. Sonic flew backwards out of the ring.

"Well, looks like that echidna's the only one left." remarked Carnage. Knuckles wasn't paying attention. He was too busy listening to rap music on his ipod. Carnage went over and poked him. Knuckles didn't respond, so she picked him up and threw him out of the arena.

"The winner is Team Nightmare!" announced the announcer. The audience cheered half heartedly due to the lameness of the fight.

"What can I say," said Bane, "We were against _Sonic_."

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OOHHH, Team Sonic smash. What team will fight next? It's up to you! Review and say which team gets the honor of fighting Team Nightmare. Yes, Team 7 is Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakara from 'Naruto'. Review for the sake of this story!


	8. Chapter 7: Duel for the emerald part 2

DC: MEGA SQUEE! I just got an 'O-Zone' CD from eBay (they're the guys that did the Numa Numa song)! It rocks. Since I only got 1 vote for Team Dark, that's the team up next.

Yawackhary: So, on with th-

DC: Cue page-break!

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After Sonic's humiliating defeat, Team Dark faced off against Team 7. It was sad. Sasuke had an emo moment and broke down crying, and Naruto stepped on a rusted nail, got lead poisoning and died. Sakara was the only one that put up a fight, but she sucks so it didn't matter. Team Rose and Team Chaotix fought. It was as bad as Team Dark's fight. Espio turned invisible and beat up Big. Amy smacked him with her hammer. Cream went seductive and made out with Charmy until he passed out, and Cheese threw a wad of cash at Vector, rendering him mesmerized.

"Good God, Team Rose actually won." said Bane as he watched.

"Team Dark's not bad either." remarked Carnage. Bane nodded.

"Don't worry, I have just the thing for them." replied Bane mysteriously. "Say, "Carnage, have you ever played Final Fantasy?"

* * *

It was time for Team Nightmare's fight. They and Team Dark stood facing each other. The referee approached them.

"Blah, blah, blah, FIGHT!" said the ref. Bane grinned.

"Now for my ultimate spell," said he, "Super Fist of the Cat Mage!" Bane began to glow. "Final Fantasy World!" Suddenly, the arena began to change. Grass grew out of nowhere, a blue sky appeared, and everyone suddenly had 200 Hit Points.

"Great Scot!" exclaimed Shadow, "We're all Final Fantasy 1 characters!"

It was true. Bane was a Black Mage, Carnage was a Warrior, Yawackhary was a Red Mage, Rouge was a White Mage, Shadow was a Thief, and Omega was a Black Belt.

"I love this game!" exclaimed Yawackhary.

"Your first." said Bane.

Team Dark grinned. Unfortunately for Team Nightmare, Team Dark were FF masters.

"Fine," said Shadow, "Steal!"

Shadow did a cool teleportation attack. Bane lost 10 HP and his hat.

"AHH, it burns!" shrieked Shadow as he saw Bane's face. He instantly lost 200 HP. The hat magically returned to Bane's head.

"Whoa," said Carnage, "That was intense."

"Yes," replied Bane, "Never take off a Black Mage's hat." It was Omega's turn. He did a simple **Attack** on Carnage. She lost 50 HP. Rouge used **Hammer** on Yawackhary. He lost 20 HP.

"Now it's my turn." said Bane. He used **Meteor**. Nothing happened.

"You missed again." sighed Carnage.

"Oh, did I?" asked Bane devilishly.

* * *

After accepting that if they went back to Station Square Bane would teleport them away again, Fang and Samantha settled down in Wisconsin. They bought a house and set up a dairy farm. Life was easy. Today, however, something was going to happen to change all that.

"Sam," began Fang, "I have something important to ask you."

"What is it?" asked Sam.

"Well, we've known each other for a long time." He bowed on one knee and presented a ring box. "Samantha, will you…"

Suddenly, a meteor fell from the sky, destroying their house, farm, and peace.

"BANE!!!!!!!!" shouted Fang and Sam at the sky.

* * *

The turn based fight raged on. Eventually, it was down to just Bane, Carnage, and Omega.

"Time to finish this." said Omega. He performed a **Berserker** attack, defeating Carnage and leaving Bane down to 2 HP. "It is over for you." said Omega. Bane shook his head.

"It's not over yet." he said, "It's my turn to cast the final spell." Bane cast a **Summon**. Suddenly, Chuck Norris appeared out of nowhere.

"The eyes of the ranger are upon you." he sang. Chuck rushed Omega and round-house kicked Omega. Omega lost 5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 HP and lost. The world flickered back to normal.

"The winner is Team Nightmare!" said the announcer. The crowd went wild.

"And, cue page-break!" said Yawackhary out of nowhere.

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Well, Ceil, I hope that was enough of a fight for you. I apologize if no one got the Final Fantasy or Bo-bobo-bobobobo jokes (Bo-bobo rocks!). Anyway, the next fight is Team Rose. They can't be that hard, right?

Bane: Review or I don't get paid!

DC: You don't get paid anyway.

Bane: I don't? Dang-it!


	9. Chapter 8: Duel for the emerald finale

DC: Hi, readers. Sorry for not updating in a while. I've been busy. Anyway, my friend forced me to listen to "The Lumberjack Song" by Monty Python. It rocks! Oh, I'm going to use you in my story Ceil. Don't kill me!

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DC: Oh yeah, on with the story!

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After removing Chuck Norris from the arena, Team Nightmare and Team Rose entered the ring.

"Welcome to the final round!" exclaimed the announcer, "Please welcome our two finalists: Team Nightmare and Team Rose!" The crowd went wild. Suddenly, a white hedgehog with blue quills like Shadow's stood up and pulled out a megaphone.

"YEAH CREAM, YOU'RE LOOKING HOT TONIGHT! YEAH! WHOO!" yelled the seemingly drunken hedgehog. Everyone turned and looked at him.

"Oh, God," muttered Shadow, "It's my brother, Ceil." Ceil continued yelling innuendos at Cream. Bane got mad.

"Don't you know she's only 6?" yelled Bane, "Filthy pervert!" He picked up a random glass bottle and threw it at Ceil. The bottle hit him square in the head, knocking him unconscious.

"Anyway," said the ref. "FIGHT!"

* * *

Team Rose and Team Nightmare stood facing each other. Suddenly, Amy got a strange look in her eyes.

"Why, hello, cutie." she said in a love-struck voice. Bane and Yawackhary looked at each other. "I mean the cat." clarified Amy. Yawackhary sighed. Bane cringed. Amy swaggered up to him. "Why don't we leave this place and head back to my house?" Amy moved _really _close to Bane. Sonic stood up.

"I thought we had something special." he sobbed as he ran away. Amy rolled her eyes.

"Uh, well," stammered Bane, "You're, uh, pretty, but…" Amy couldn't hold back. She pulled Bane into a kiss. The crowed gasped. The announcer gasped. The readers gasped (hopefully). Yawackhary laughed psychotically. Carnage stared with a look of pure hatred. After 11.1649 seconds Bane pulled away.

"What is you're problem?" he exclaimed. Carnage walked up to Bane and slapped him, then turned to Amy.

"You," she said, "How could you? You had everything you could want and still you wanted more." she paused. "I love him" Everyone gasped again (except for maybe the readers who saw this coming since Chapter 4). Amy summoned her hammer.

"It's on!" she exclaimed as Carnage rushed at her, shuriken drawn. Yawackhary, Cream, and the audience stood in awe. Big was busy petting Froggy, Bane was cleaning his mouth out with bleach, and the announcer was busy solving a Rubic's Cube. Carnage and Amy fought intensely. Carnage was going totally berserk, unleashing a series of attacks worthy of Sasuke Uchiha. After ten solid minutes, Carnage and Amy stood panting. Suddenly Carnage pointed behind Amy.

"Great Scott!" exclaimed Carnage, "Tom Felton, Orlando Bloom, _and _Johnny Depp are shooting a modeling calendar!" Amy spun around. Carnage homing attacked her from behind, knocking her off the ring.

* * *

While this was happening, Yawackhary walked up to Big.

"Hey, could you hold this?" Yawackhary asked producing a bomb.

"Uh, okay little ducky!" said Big. Yawackhary handed him the bomb and ran away. Big exploded off the ring. Seeing her team lost, Cream broke down crying. Ceil stood back up with his megaphone.

"HEY, BABY! COME UP HERE AND CEIL WILL MAKE IT ALL BETTER!" Suddenly, he was knocked out with a perfectly aimed Pepsi can.

* * *

"Was it true what you said?" asked Bane to Carnage. She nodded and turned away. Bane grabbed her chin softly and turned her head back. "Don't be embarrassed. I love you, too." He pulled Carnage closer and kissed her lightly on the lips. The audience awed (and so should have the readers).

"What a sickeningly sweet episode." said Cheese in perfect not chao-like English. Everyone in the universe gasped. Cheese laughed. "Do not think that Omochao was the only Cat Mage hater among us. No, the entire chao race hates Cat Mages." Cheese shot a **Coma **spell at Carnage. She fainted in Bane's arms. Cheese cast a **Gale**. Yawackhary was blown off the ring. Bane stood his ground. He laid Carnage's body down on the ground.

"Only feline." said Cheese as he charged at Bane. Cheese cast a **Flame Fist **spell on himself. Bane did likewise. They hit each other mightily. The stadium shook with the force. Cheese flew backwards and landed on his feet.

"I appear to have underestimated you." said Cheese. He cast an **Invisibility **spell and vanished. Bane stood gathering his energy.

"There is only one spell strong enough to defeat him." he thought. Suddenly Cheese fell upon Bane. Bane was ready for it. He dodged Cheese, grabbed him by the throat and flew straight up.

"He can fly!" exclaimed the announcer.

"He can fly!" exclaimed the audience.

"I love you." said Ceil to Cream huddled under the seats. Bane flew up into the sky. He chucked Cheese at the ground, did a cool moon-eclipsing pose and cast the ultimate light spell.

"**CELESTRIAL STRIKE!" **exclaimed Bane. He started to glow as he plummeted down upon Cheese. He struck with a force to level buildings.

* * *

It was a quiet day in New York City. Suddenly, the World Trade Center collapsed due to the force of Bane's strike.

"What should we do, Mr. President?" asked a secret service guy.

"Let's blame the Middle East!" said Bush.

* * *

When the smoke cleared, Cheese was no more. Bane stood up covered in rubble. Carnage ran toward him.

"Bane!" she exclaimed as she kissed him passionately.

"The winner is Team Nightmare!" exclaimed the bruised announcer. The living audience members cheered. The ref handed Bane the 3rd emerald.

"Let's go." said Bane as he teleported the team home.

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Whoo, longest chapter! Sorry Ceil for the smashing. I couldn't help it. Don't hate me. I'm also sorry if anyone was offended by my 9/11 joke. It won't happen again. Anyway, where will the next emerald lead our heroes? Stay tuned!


	10. Chapter 9: LOTR and the Lumberjack Song!

DC: Greetings readers! Sorry for the lack of updating. Don't expect updates every other day like before. I simply can't do it. So, without further ado, on with the story!

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A dark, cloaked rider rushed through the night on a black horse. In his hand he carried a sparkling gray jewel. After much riding, the figure arrived at an enormous black gate. The gate swung open to give him passage into the dark valley on the other side. The rider rode through the valley toward a massive black tower. The tower loomed over the valley, its flaming eye scanning the land. The figure approached the tower and laid the jewel at its base. The eye roared.

"_Idiot wraith!_" screeched Sauron, "_You got the wrong vessel of power!_" The wraith shrugged.

"Sorry," apologized the wraith, "I'm blind, remember? I can only sense things." The eye sighed.

"_Just leave it there, then_." said the eye. The wraith bowed, mounted his horse, and rode away.

* * *

Back in Bane's apartment, all was still. That was, all except Yawackhary. He couldn't sleep. Bane and Carnage had fallen asleep on the couch, leaving him to wander around the apartment. It didn't take him long to find Bane's bedroom. Yawackhary smiled to himself. He opened the door and stepped inside. He stared at the décor in awe.

"Nice red light." he muttered to himself. He looked around and noticed a large black trunk with a hand sticking out of it labeled 'DO NOT OPEN UNLESS YOU REALLY, REALLY WANT/HAVE TO'. Yawackhary REALLY wanted to. He picked the lock and opened the trunk. Light and fog as black as a Goth convention poured out. Yawackhary looked inside. It was empty. He sighed and walked out of the room, leaving the trunk and bedroom open…

* * *

The next day, Carnage woke up next to Bane. She got up and went to her room to change. When she came back, Bane was sitting on the T.V.

"Uh, what are you doing?" she asked.

"Noooooothing." replied Bane in a slightly higher pitched voice. Yawackhary walked into the room.

"Hi!" he exclaimed.

"Hey," said Carnage, do you notice something different about Bane?" The cat had **Summoned **a random pogo-stick and was jumping on it on the ceiling.

"Not really." replied Yawackhary.

"Oh, I love being a Cat Mage," said Bane suddenly, "Casting spells all the time. The useful **Teleportation**, the mighty **Firebolt**, the ultimate **Celestial Strike**, the multipurpose **Summoning**, why, it makes me want to sing, sing, SING!" Suddenly five random Cat Mages **Teleported **into the room. They began singing.

* * *

Bane: Oh, I'm a Cat Mage, and I'm okay. I sleep all night and cast spells all day.

CM (Cat Mages): Oh, he's a Cat Mage and he's okay. He sleeps all night and cast spells all day!

Bane: I cast my spells, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory! On some days I go shopping, and have buttered scones for tea!

CM: He casts his spells, he eats his lunch, he goes to the lavatory! On some days he goes shopping, and has buttered scones for tea!

Both: 'Cause he's a Cat Mage and he's okay. He sleeps all night and cast spells all day.

Bane: I cast some spells, I skip and jump, I like to press wildflowers. I wear Carnage's clothing, and hang around in bars!

CM: He cast some spells, he skips and jumps, he likes to press wildflowers. He wears Carnage's…clothing, and hangs around in…bars!?

Both: 'Cause he's a Cat Mage and he's okay. He sleeps all night and cast spells all day.

Bane: I cast more spells; I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I was a girlie, just like my dear papa!

CM: He cast more spells; he wears high heels, suspenders… and a …bra?

The mages stop singing.

* * *

"I know what's wrong!" said one of the mages. She cast an **Exorcism**. Suddenly, Bane began to glow. The demon that had possessed him was cast out.

"Just like my dear mama." sang the demon as it vanished. Bane tried to clear his head.

"That demon must have escaped the box I had it in." said Bane, "Thanks guys." The mages nodded and **Teleported** away. Yawackhary was whistling inconspicuously.

"So, should we head for the next emerald?" he asked hurriedly. Bane nodded.

"Let's go!" Bane exclaimed as he teleported them away.

* * *

"So it is decided," said Elrond, "The ring must be destroyed. But who will accept such a task?" Suddenly, Team Nightmare appeared out of nowhere. The council gasped. Gandalf had a heart attack and died.

"Great, there goes our wizard." muttered Aragorn.

"Did someone say great wizard?" asked Bane. "I and my team are at your service." Elrond nodded.

"Very well, you are now the Fellowship of the Ring!" exclaimed Elrond.

"Great," said Carnage, "…where are we going?"

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Wow, Monty Python and LOTR and one chapter. Have I gone mad? Can the team survive the perils of Middle-Earth? Will Sauron get the ring? Will Fang and Sam return?

Yawackhary: Will you give me cool lines?

Bane: Will you build on my romance?

Carnage: Will you ever shut up?

DC: REVIEW and stay tuned!

        


	11. Chapter 10: The fellowship of stupidity

DC: Hello, peoples. As you can tell from the last chapter, Team Nightmare has gone to Middle Earth. Just as a warning, there will be a lot of movie references. Sucks if you haven't seen them! So…

Frodo: On with the story!

DC: Shut up!

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Bane, Carnage, Yawackhary, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Boramir, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippen began their quest for Mordor. They soon came across a fork in the road.

"Hey, a fork!" exclaimed Carnage as she picked it up. "I wonder who lost it." The fellowship pressed on. They came across an intersection. One way lead to "Snowy pass that Bane could easily get through", an other lead to "Dwarf mine that's infested with goblins that want to eat you", and the other lead to "Mordor shortcut".

"So, midget with the ring," said Bane, "Which way?" Frodo pondered.

"Let's go to the mines." said Frodo. The hobbits agreed.

"Whatever." sighed everyone else. They traveled toward the mines.

* * *

An hour later, the fellowship had arrived at a giant stone cliff.

"So, how do we get in?" asked Gimli.

"I have an idea." said Yawackhary. He pulled out a bomb and blew a whole in the wall. Mystically, a door appeared and fell open.

"Well, that was sad." remarked Pippen. The fellowship entered the mines. They were suddenly surrounded by goblins.

"Good God!" exclaimed Sam, "Who could have seen this coming?" Everyone rolled their eyes. Suddenly, all the goblins ran away.

"Well, that was weird." remarked Carnage. A low rumbling filled the hall.

"No." whispered Bane, "Not that. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!" Everyone ran in opposite directions.

"I meant all in the same direction!" yelled Bane. The fellowship ran toward the exit. They ran down the stairs. Suddenly the stairs broke.

"Dang it!" muttered Bane. They were trapped.

"Well, so long, suckers!" said Yawackhary as he flew away.

"You can fly?" asked Carnage.

"Well, duh," responded Yawackhary, "I'm a duck." He flew to the bottom of the stairs.

"Don't worry," said Bane, "I'm magic." He cast a **Repair **spell. The stairs were instantly fixed.

"Nobody tosses a dwarf!" exclaimed Gimli for no reason. The team ignored him and ran down the stairs. They got to the exit just as the Ballog appeared!

"Go, I'll handle the fire thingy." said Bane. Carnage grabbed his arm.

"Don't do it." she begged. Bane shook his head.

"I have to." he said as he kissed her. Carnage ran to catch up with the rest of the fellowship. Bane and the Ballog stood facing each other.

"I'm a Cat Mage, fool," began Bane, "Dark fire will not avail you, flame of Ündun!" The Ballog roared and attacked with his whip. Bane repeatedly dodged.

"YOU, SHALL NOT PASS!!!" exclaimed Bane has he cast a **Teleportation**. The Ballog unceremoniously vanished. Suddenly, the bridge broke. Bane grabbed on the side of the chasm.

"Bane!" exclaimed Carnage. Bane looked at her lovingly.

"Fly, you fools. And Carnage." he said as he fell.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" yelled Carnage. She broke down crying. Yawackhary held her close and sobbed also.

"He was the first and only person ever to get to know me well." said Carnage. Yawackhary nodded in agreement.

"I wonder where the Ballog went." wondered Legolas.

* * *

After discovering that the meteor was made from solid gold, Fang and Sam bought a mansion in Beverly Hills. (A/N, That's where I want to be.) To celebrate, they threw a hypo-party and invited everyone.

"So, Fang," said Ciel, escorting Cream, "You appear to be doing well." Fang nodded.

"Yes. Pardon me for a second." He walked over to Samantha.

"Samantha, I'm sorry we were interrupted last time, but," he got down on one knee. "Will you mar-"

Suddenly, the Ballog landed on the mansion, catching it on fire and burning it to the ground in seconds. The Ballog stood up, looked around, shrugged, then went on a rampage that leveled most of California.

"BANE!!!!!" roared Fang, Sam, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and everyone in California.

* * *

"We must press on." said Legolas. The fellowship trudged on through the forest. Suddenly, Frodo ran away chased by Boramir.

"Whatever." muttered Carnage. She had turned into an Emo/Goth at Bane's fall. Suddenly, orcs surrounded them. The fellowship fought fiercely. Boramir died, Frodo, Sam, and Yawackhary ran away, and Carnage, Merry, and Pippen were kidnapped. The orcs ran away with their captives.

"Let's hunt some orc." said Aragorn.

* * *

"I can't swim!" said Sam.

"Sucks for you." said Yawackhary as Sam drowned.

"NO!" exclaimed Frodo as he jumped in the lake and drowned. Yawackhary shrugged, got in a conveniently placed boat, and paddled up stream.

"Looks like I'm going alone," thought Yawackhary, "I hope Carnage survives." He cried as he paddled along.

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Well, that was spoofy. I apologize for my butchering of LOTR. I like it as much as the next guy. So, will Carnage survive? Is the ring lost? Is Bane really dead? Do you actually think I'm going to tell you? REVIEW!!!!!!!! (and stay tuned.)


	12. Chapter 11: The two idiots

DC: Welcome back! How come I have over 200 hits but less than 20 reviews? I apologize for the mediocrity of my last chapter. So now, I no longer care about the length of my chapters. They'll be as long as it takes to tell the story.

Yawackhary: MEGA-WOOT!

DC: Amen, duck. So, on with the story.

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"So, how are you?" asked Pippen to Carnage. They had been carried by the Uri-kai for hours with no sign of stopping.

"Whatever." replied Carnage, still in her depressed slump.

"We could play a game." suggested Merry.

"Which one?" asked Pippen.

"I SPY!"

"Good God, no." muttered Carnage.

"Okay," said Merry, "I spy something purple and black."

"Me?" asked Carnage.

"You're right!" said Merry.

"My turn!" exclaimed Pippen. "I spy something with quills."

"Me."

"Good guess." said Pippen.

(2 hours later…)

"I spy a member of the _Erinaceidae _family." said Pippen.

"For the love of Christ!" exclaimedCarnage, "It's me!"

"Wow," said Merry, "you're good at this game." Carnage fumed.

* * *

About a mile back, Aragorn and Legolas had discovered a shuriken.

"The blades of Carnage do not idly fall." said Aragorn wisely. Gimli ran up to them.

"Stupid high cholesterol." muttered Gimli as he died of heart failure. Legolas and Aragorn came to a rock cliff.

"Legolas, what do you're elf eyes see?" asked Aragorn. Legolas pulled out his pair of Elf Eyestm binoculars.

"The Uri-kai turn north-east," stated Legolas, "They're taking the hedgehog to Isengard!"

* * *

Way, way far away on a misty mountain, Yawackhary walked alone. He was determined to find the fourth emerald, Bane or no Bane. Suddenly, a strange creature descended upon him.

"Where is it, precious?" hissed the creature, "I think it has it, precious."

"Good Gravy, who are you?" asked Yawackhary.

"Do you know who we are?"

"No, that's why I asked."

"Do you know who we are? We're the Juggernaut, precious!"

"Really?!?"

"No, gollem, gollem, we're Gollem, precious."

"Oh," said Yawackhary, "Can you take me to Mordor?"

"If you give us the precious when we get there."

"Okay!"

* * *

The Uri-kai had finally made camp for the night.

"Let's eat their legs, they don't need them." said a random orc.

"No, fool," said an uri-kai, "Saruman says he wants them whole."

"Screw Saruman!" said the orc. Suddenly, he was struck by lightning and died.

"Meats back on the menu, boys!" said the uri-kai. The orcs fell upon the fallen one.

"That's disgusting." commented Pippen.

"It's not that bad." replied Carnage eating a hand. "It's actually quite tasty." The hobbits fainted in disgust. Carnage shrugged and walked off. Suddenly, a group of horsemen came out of nowhere.

"Huzzah, Riders of Rohan!" said the leader. The horsemen killed all the orcs along with Merry and Pippen. Carnage ran away into the forest.

"Riders of Rohan, lets bounce!" The horses literally bounced away.

* * *

Yawackhary and Gollem walked on through the Dead Marshes.

"So, are we there yet?" asked Yawackhary to Gollem.

"No."

Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

Now?"

"Shut up, precious!" exclaimed Gollem.

"Fine." replied Yawackhary. They walked on further.

"Now?"

"For the last time… Get down!" A Nazgul flew over head.

"Holy pastrami!" yelled Yawackhary as he ducked under a rock. Gollem wasn't so lucky. The Nazgul flew down and ate him. It then flew off toward Mordor.

"Maybe if I follow it, it will take me to Mordor." thought Yawackhary. He took off after the beast.

* * *

Carnage was wandering the forest. She was bored. After about 10 minutes she sat down under a tree.

"That's odd," thought Carnage, "I didn't know trees breathed like that."

"They don't." said the 'tree', picking up Carnage.

"Ah, demon tree!" exclaimed Carnage.

"I am no tree. I am an Ent, Treebeard by name."

"Okay then, Treefreak, I'm lost and need some help."

"I'm Treebeard, and the white wizard may help you."

"Wizard," thought Carnage, "It must be Bane."

"Take me to him, Treeman!" Treebeard sighed. After 10 minutes of walking, they arrived in a clearing.

"I return to you now, at the turn of the tide." said the wizard. Carnage sighed.

"Oh, it's just that old guy from the last chapter." she thought. "Who are you?" she asked him.

"I am Gandalf the White," replied the wizard, "Do you need assistance?"

"Yes, I need to find my friend and a chaos emerald. Can you help?"

"Most certainly. But first I have to handle a little problem. Come with me." Gandalf grabbed Carnage's arm and flew away.

"Goodbye, Treegoatee!" called Carnage from above.

"Screw you!" replied Treebeard. Gandalf and Carnage busted into Saruman's keep.

"Ah, Gandalf," said Saruman, "A pleasure to see you."

"Stuff it," replied Gandalf, "Since DynamicChaos can't come up with anything else; we're going to have a magical duel."

"Sounds fine." said Saruman.

"It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!" said Carnage in perfect Yu-Gi-Oh voice.

"Well, that was weird." remarked Gandalf. Saruman agreed. They stood facing each other.

"I cast **Ice blast**." said Gandalf. Saruman countered with a **Spell reflection**. Gandalf reflected it too. The two wizards kept reflecting the spell back at each other.

"This is lame." muttered Carnage. She grabbed Saruman's Seeing Stone and left the tower. On her way out she noticed a dam.

"Why not?" thought Carnage wickedly. She threw a shuriken at it. The dam broke, Isengard was flooded, and Carnage floated away on a piece of drift wood.

"If only Bane could see me now." she thought.

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I stopping now only because I'm out of ideas. I hope you like the spoofiness. Will Yawackhary get the emerald? Will carnage catch up with him? Will bane return? Will I kill off the remaining LOTR characters? (most likely).


	13. Chapter 12: The return of insanity

DC: Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed my LOTR spoof so far. Only three or so characters left to die. Let's boogie!

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Yawackhary was hopelessly lost. After attempting to follow the Nazgul, he flew through a fog bank and wound up near a city.

"Hey, it's the emerald city!" thought Yawackhary. He surveyed his surroundings. To his left was a rock face with rock steps carved into it.

"That must lead to Mordor." said Yawackhary, oblivious to the 'This way to Mordor' sign. Yawackhary flew up the cliff and came to an ominous cave.

"What's up with all these signs?" thought Yawackhary noticing a sign that said 'Ominous cave'. He shrugged and walked inside.

"Wow, its dark in here," thought Yawackhary, "I wish I had a light." He reached in his pocket and felt something. He pulled out a Glo-Stick.

"Oh, yeah." Thought Yawackhary as a flashback ensued.

* * *

"Here's a free First Mariner Arena Glo-Stick," said the vendor to Yawackhary, "Let it be a light for you in dark places."

"Okay!" said Yawackhary.

* * *

The flashback ended. Yawackhary held his Glo-Stick high. The green light gave him barely 6 inches of illumination.

"Stupid cheap Glo-Stick!" thought Yawackhary. He pressed onward into the cave. Suddenly, he heard a growl. He spun around and was face-to-face with a giant spider.

"Holy haberdashery!" exclaimed Yawackhary, "What's that?" He pulled out something resembling a Poké-dex.

"Shelob," spoke the device, "A giant spider creature. Typically found in her cave, waiting for something to drop by so she can devour it."

"I knew a LOTR-dex was a good idea." said Yawackhary. He turned toward Shelob. "So, you're a spider. If I'm correct, fire type is good against bug type," he pulled out a bomb. "Go, Bomb!" The bomb exploded, incinerating Shelob, the cave, and the random orcs outside.

* * *

"What was that?" said the Witch-King riding on a Nazgul. While he was distracted, the Nazgul crashed landed on the Fields of Pelennor, crushing the Witch-King, Aragorn, Legolas, Theoden, and his daughter.

"Wow." said Carnage out of nowhere. After hijacking Shadowfax, she rode all the way to Gondor in about fifteen minutes. She pulled out a checklist.

"Okay, we have Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippen, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, both Gandalf the White and Gray, Saruman, Theoden and what's-her-face. Cool, almost everyone's dead. Let's see if they can die before we find the emerald."

"No, the fourth wall will not be breached!" exclaimed my voice from nowhere. Suddenly, the list incinerated and Carnage forgot all about it.

"That was weird," thought Carnage, "Oh well, to Mordor!"

* * *

Yawackhary exited the now non-existent cave. He flew down the path way and arrived at a tower crawling with orcs.

"Well, this has got to go." said Yawackhary as he blew it up. The eye looked down at him.

"_Fool!_" exclaimed Sauron, "_You impotence will be your demise!_"

"Whatever." said Yawackhary as he chucked a bomb at the tower. The tower fell, and Sauron was destroyed. In the resulting shockwave, the One Ring fell down a fissure, landed in lava, and melted.

"Wow, that was ridiculously easy," remarked Carnage riding up on Shadowfax, "But where's the emerald?" A random wraith approached them.

"This thing?" he asked holding the emerald, "You can have it."

"MEGA-SQUEE!" exclaimed the team. Suddenly, the clouds parted and a glowing being descended.

"Who are you?" asked Yawackhary.

"I am the god of this world, J.R.R. Tolkien." said the man. "For completely screwing up my story you shall be sent away."

"Woot!" said the team.

"Whatever."

Team Nightmare vanished in a flash of light. Elrond walked out of nowhere.

"Ha!" he exclaimed, "I haven't died yet!" Suddenly, Zeeky H. Bomb fell from the sky.

"Zeeky Boogy Doo!" said the bomb. Middle-Earth exploded and sunk into the ocean.

"Well, that was anti-climatic." remarked Tolkien.

* * *

Team Nightmare fell from the sky and landed in a field. In Wisconsin!

"Now we know how Fang felt when Bane teleported him here." said Yawackhary. At the mention of Bane Carnage started crying.

"What's this?" asked everyone's favorite weasel/wolf thing. Carnage and Yawackhary turned to Fang. "Well, what are you doing here?" Fang asked. Yawackhary told him of the team's shenanigans.

"I can't believe Bane died," said Fang sadly, "Here, take this." Fang handed Carnage the fifth emerald.

"Thank you." said Carnage.

"So, how are you getting back?" asked Fang.

"We fly!" exclaimed Yawackhary. He grabbed Carnage and took off.

"Will wonders never cease?" asked Fang as the team flew away.

* * *

Team Nightmare arrived at Bane's apartment. Carnage took out an extra key from her pocket and opened the door.

"What kept you?" asked a figure sitting in the chair. Carnage took a fighting stance.

"Who are you?" she asked. The figure stood.

"How can you not recognize me?" He asked as he turned on the light.

"It can't be," whispered Carnage aghast.

"Yes," said the figure, "I'm Bane."

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Dun, Dun, DUN! Bane has returned. How? When? What happened after his fall? Where is the last emerald? Can you contain your excitement? (probably.) To quote Linds the Stupid, "Reviews make the world go around". So REVIEW!!!! And stay tuned!

Ending Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR, J.R.R. Tolkien, Zeeky H. Bomb, or Wisconsin.


	14. Chapter 13: Bane's epic return

DC: Hey, hey, hey readers! Sorry if anybody was offended by my slashing/butchering/destruction of LOTR. I LOVE those movies. So, without further ado, on with the story!

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The room was silent.

"B-Bane?" whispered Carnage. Bane nodded.

"Yes, it's me. When I fell off the bridge, I tried to teleport back up but…"

"You missed?" asked Yawackhary.

"Precisely," said Bane, "You know how I am under pressure." He smiled at Carnage. "Anyway," he continued, "Since I didn't know how far you were in the story I couldn't teleport back to you. I did, however, get this." Bane reached into his pocket and pulled out a Chaos emerald.

"YEAH!" exclaimed Carnage, "The sixth emerald!"

"Now, let's go get the last!" said Bane as the vanished.

Something pounded on the closet door. It kept pounding until the door broke open. Shade fell face first out of the closet, bound and gagged. He looked around the apartment.

"Oh no," he thought, "I'm too late."

Bane, Carnage, and Yawackhary appeared in a dimly lit room.

"Uh, Bane," said Carnage, "Where are we?" Bane snickered.

"No where you want to be." replied Bane as he drew a vial.

"Carnage, look out!" yelled Yawackhary. But it was too late. Bane stabbed Carnage in the neck with the vial. She fell and lay unmoving.

"I knew I couldn't trust you!" exclaimed Yawackhary as he summoned a bomb. Bane waved his hand and Yawackhary flew against the wall. He grabbed another vial and threw it with expert precision at Yawackhary. He collapsed on the ground. Bane reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone. He dialed a number and waited as it rang.

"Hello?" asked the voice on the other end.

"It's me, Eggman," replied Bane, "I have them." Eggman chortled with mirth.

"Good job. Bring them to me at once!" exclaimed Eggman as he hung up. Bane grinned.

"Very well." he muttered as he teleported him and the team away.

Carnage woke up several hours later. She was laying in a dank cell. Yawackhary was sitting next to her.

"What happened?" asked Carnage groggily.

"Bane betrayed us." said Yawackhary.

"No! He wouldn't!"

"I'm sorry, Carnage, but…"

"No! I won't listen!" Carnage fell down and cried herself to sleep.

She woke up again a minute or so later. Suddenly, the door flew open and two robot guards entered.

"Come with us," said the guards, "You are wanted." Carnage stood up and followed the guards. After five minutes they arrived at the main room. There were machines all around the perimeter.

"Welcome," said a man standing in front of a terminal. Carnage knew who it was. She recognized him from the papers.

"Dr. Eggman." hissed Carnage. Eggman laughed.

"I'm glad you know me," he said, "It saves introductions. Now, there's just one thing I need from you." He paused. "I need the other six Chaos emeralds. I already have one." Eggman pointed to a large machine. There was a Chaos emerald inside it.

"Where's Bane?" asked Carnage. Eggman laughed.

"He's right over there." he said pointing to a corner of the room. There Bane stood, grinning.

"Bane," whispered Carnage crying, "How could you?" Bane giggled.

"Foolish girl," he said slyly, "Don't you get it?" Suddenly Bane began changing. His fur melted into blue metal. His gloves fell off to reveal silver hands.

"Good God," muttered Carnage, "What are you?" The Bane imposter grinned.

"I," began the creature, "Am Metal Sonic! Eggman sent me to your apartment to get the Chaos emeralds. Instead I found a gender-confused raven and some magic books. All I had to do was **Transform **into Bane using his own spells and wait for you. It was genius!" Eggman nodded.

"Quite so," said the doctor, "Now, tell us where the emeralds are!" Oddly Carnage giggled.

"What's so funny?" asked Metal Sonic.

"I don't know where they are!" confessed Carnage. The room went silent.

"SWHAT?!?" exclaimed Eggman and his robot. Carnage nodded.

"Bane had them at all times," explained Carnage, "I only have two. Since you have one and Metal Sonic has one, you're still missing three!" Eggman seethed with fury.

"Very well," said Eggman, "I wonder if Bane will come if his girlfriend was in danger." He smiled wickedly at Carnage. "Metal Sonic, take care of it." The robot grinned.

"With pleasure." muttered Metal Sonic. He rushed at Carnage and slammed her into a wall. He followed up with a homing attack. Carnage blocked it with a knife. The battle turned hand-to-hand combat.

"This is fun." muttered Eggman from the sidelines. Metal Sonic knocked stole Carnage's knife and pinned her against the wall.

"I'm sorry, Bane." thought Carnage as the knife stroke fell. At the last second, however, a bolt of energy knocked the knife from Metal Sonic's hand.

"What the-" thought Metal Sonic as a column of light fell upon him.Metal Sonic screamed as he was eradicated. Carnage fell to the floor, gasping.

"No, it can not be!" exclaimed Eggman. Suddenly, a figure materialized in the middle of the room. It was a white cat with light electric blue stripes clothed in a white robe and hat.

"Who are you?" asked Carnage. The figure smiled.

"I am the Arch Mage." said the person. He turned to face Eggman. "If you release her, I will give you the emeralds." The Arch Mage **Summoned **the last three emeralds.

"Very well, cat," said Eggman, "She is yours." The wall behind the Arch Mage suddenly exploded. Yawackhary secret agent somersaulted in.

"Okay, give up Carnage!" exclaimed the duck drawing a bomb.

"Come on, Yawackhary." said the cat as he teleported them away. Eggman placed the emeralds in his machine.

"Now," said Eggman, "The world is mine!"

The Arch Mage, Yawackhary, and Carnage teleported back to the apartment.

"So tell me," said Carnage, "Do you know a cat by the name of Bane Arnax?" The Arch Mage laughed.

"Silly hedgehog," said the Arch Mage pulling Carnage close to him, "I am Bane Arnax." They kissed.

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Whoo, it's the longest chapter! So, Bane has truly returned. What _really_ happened after the fall? What is Eggman's evil plan? How'd Bane turn white? Is Shade a pimp? (what?) REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and stay tuned!)


	15. Chapter 14: The final Cataclysm!

DC: I'm out of unique intros, readers! Note: This is the FINAL chapter. It will be dramatic and tear-jerking. Okay, now, to the story! P.S., your computer isn't broken if you see random bold and italicised letters.

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Eggman collected the emeralds in his hands. He walked over and picked up a spell book from the counter.

"Finally," said the doctor, "I have all the necessary items to take over the world!" He walked to his machine and inserted the Chaos emeralds. The machine began to glow. "Very good. Now, according to this book, I just say the incantation and it should work." Eggman cleared his throat and read:

**_One who was gone now doth returns,_**

_**The bringer of shadow, who goodness spurns.**_

_**Awaken, demon of darkening skies,**_

_**By the power of Chaos you shall arise!**_

Suddenly, all the lights went off except for the emerald's glow. Eggman fell to the ground in panic. The laboratory shook as a being slowly materialized. First came a head, than a torso with bat wings, then two arms but no legs. The demon rose into the air, its red eyes gleaming with malice.

"**I **_h_a_v_**e **_R**E**T_U**R**N_E**D**_!" exclaimed the creature, shattering glass vials all around the lab. Eggman stood. "**S**o, _a_r**e y**_o_u t**h**_e _**o**n_e t_h**a**t _s_**u**m_m_o**n**e_d_ m**e**?" asked the being. Eggman fell down again.

"Y-yes, I a-am," stuttered Eggman, "I-I am you're m-master n-n-now." The demon laughed raucously.

"**Y**o_u d_**a**r**e **c_o_**m**_m_a**n**d _C_**a**t**a**_c_l_y_**s**m, t**h**_e d_**e**_m_o**n **k_i_**n**g? _Y_**o**u **s**h_a_**l**l _d_**i**e!" The demon snapped his fingers. All the metal in the room flew to him. Eggman was petrified with fear. The metal wrapped around his arms, turning his right arm robotic and his left into a mace. The metal twisted and formed into seven spider-like legs which attached where his legs should be. Cataclysm swung his mace at Eggman. As the mace touched him, he transformed into a smoky substance and flew into Cataclysm's mouth. The demon smiled. "_I _h**a**v_e_n'**t e**a_t**e**n _**a **_s_o_u_**l **i**n **_c_**e**n_t_u**r**_i_**e**s. L**e**t'_s _**s**_e_e _h_o**w **m_u_c**h** t**h**_e _**w**o**r**_l_d _h_**a**s **c**h**a**_n_g**e**_d_." Cataclysm laughed as he flew out the window.

* * *

Bane and Carnage disengaged from making out.

"So, are you really Bane?" asked Yawackhary. Bane nodded.

"Yes, I am, and I think it is time for me to come clean. You see…"

"FREEZE!" yelled a slightly familiar voice. Suddenly, the door to the apartment was busted down and G.U.N. soldiers flooded in with drawn weapons. A helicopter flew outside the window. "Finally, you're under arrest, Bane!"

"I know that voice," said Carnage, "It's the private from Emerald Coast!" The private laughed.

"Very good," he remarked, "I've been trying to track you down for weeks. Surrender or die!" The helicopter aimed its gun. Carnage squeezed Bane. Yawackhary drew a bomb.

"Very well," said the private, "Open f-" Suddenly, an explosion sounded right down the street. Thinking quickly, Bane **Pushed **the helicopter into a random building. He instantaneously cast a **Shockwave **that knocked all the soldiers to the floor and knocked them out.

"That was a good distraction, Yawackhary," remarked Carnage, "Nice use of bombs."

"I didn't do anything," said Yawackhary, "But thank you."

"We must check out that explosion." said Bane. He grabbed Carnage's hand and flew out the window. Yawackhary followed.

* * *

"Hello, I am Katy Jackson," said the reported into the T.V. camera. "Behind me is a crater left by a supposed meteor here in downtown Station Square. I'm here with local gothic hedgehog, Shadow. So, Shadow, could you tell me what happened?" Shadow shrugged.

"I was just walking back from Rouge's house when this glowing thing fell out of the sky." said Shadow. Suddenly, the thing at the bottom of the crater moved. "OMG, I'm out of here!" exclaimed Shadow as he ran away as wimpy as Sonic would. The thing crawled out of the crater.

"I'_m _**b**_a_**c**k." said Cataclysm as he launched his mace at a civilian. Suddenly, a bolt of white light flew from nowhere and disintegrated the demon's weapon. Cataclysm wailed with furry. "_W_**h**o **d**a_r_e d_e_**f**y **m**_e_?" exclaimed Cataclysm. Another bolt shot Cataclysm into the crater. Team Nightmare landed in front of it.

"Me." said Bane heroically. The remaining crowd cheered. Cataclysm leapt from the crater and landed on the other side.

"A**h**, _t_h**e A**_r_c**h **_M_a_g**e**_" said Cataclysm, "_H_**o**w **l**o**v**_e_l_y_."

"You," sneered Bane, "I thought you were banished to the Outer Plains. And stop talking demon-tongue. It gives me a headache." Cataclysm laughed.

"Very well," he said in a slightly Italian accent, "I will humor you. I was summoned using the Chaos emeralds you imprisoned me with." Bane gasped. "Yes, I knew those gems would come back to haunt you," said the demon snidely, "Now I have returned, and no one can stop me!" In a flash, Cataclysm shot out his hand and grabbed Carnage. Bane tried to stop him but was struck with a **Detonation**. "Let's see how you taste, little girl." whispered Cataclysm as he started eating Carnage's soul.

"NO!" exclaimed Carnage as she stab him with her knife. Cataclysm shrieked and flung her into a building. Bane ran to her.

"I knew that silver knife I gave her would come in handy," said Bane as he faced Cataclysm. "I challenge you to a one-on-one battle," declared Bane, "Leave the innocents out of it." Cataclysm laughed.

"Very well," he replied, "I have some sense of tact." Cataclysm rushed at Bane and slashed with his hand. Bane dodged and hit him with a **Firebolt**. The demon flew back and countered with a **Shadowbolt**. The battle raged on with civilians looking on with total awe. Eventually, the fighting subsided. Cataclysm and Bane stood facing each other.

"You can not defeat me, Bane," said the demon, "I am the incantation of evil itself. Surrender or perish!" Bane shook his head.

"I defeated you once, and so I shall again," replied the mage. "And I shall fulfill my purpose as well!" Suddenly, Bane **Teleported **right in front of Cataclysm and flung him into the air. He instantaneously **Summoned **the Chaos emeralds and flew up after the demon.

"CATACLYSM," bellowed Bane, "BY THE POWER OF THE EMERALDS, I CONDEM YOU TO THE LAND OUTSIDE OF REALITY, WHERE YOU WILL SPEND ALL YOUR DAYS IN ISOLENTION AND WOE! AND LET IT BE SAID THAT THE EMERALDS THEMSELVES SHALL BE THE OBJECTS THAT BIND YOU, SO THEY CAN NEVER BE USED FOR EVIL AGAIN!" The emeralds surrounded Cataclysm and began to glow. In a flash, the emeralds and Cataclysm vanished. Carnage and Yawackhary ran up to Bane.

"What the heck was that?" asked Carnage exasperated. Bane sighed.

"I believe I have some explaining to do," said he, "You see, it was never my intention to take over the world. The reason I joined the team was to dispose of the emeralds all in one shot."

"But why would you want to do that?" asked Yawackhary.

"Long ago," began Bane, "There was a being named Cataclysm. Yes, the same one that was just here. He rampaged around the world spreading chaos and destruction. We, meaning the Cat Mages, used the Chaos emeralds to seal the demon in a realm where he could no longer hurt. Our original plan was to destroy the emeralds then, but they were stolen from us by the echidnas. Not wanting to cause a war, we let them keep the emeralds. Every thing was fine until the being you know as Chaos was released from the Master emerald. We then knew that the Chaos emeralds were not safe on this world. I was charged with the task of collecting the emeralds. My plan was working until Eggman interfered, thinking he could control Cataclysm. When I fell in Middle Earth, I was bestowed the power of the Arch Mage with the intent of defeating Cataclysm. So, everything worked for the best." Bane shrugged. "I guess you want me to leave, seeing how I lied to you from the start." He turned to walk away, but was stopped by Carnage.

"I don't care about the emeralds," said the hedgehog, "But I do care about us." Carnage pulled Bane into a kiss. Yawackhary shrugged.

"Well, all's well that ends well." remarked the duck. He tapped Bane's shoulder, who nodded and teleported them home.

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DC: Well, that is it. The story is over. So, I guess this is good b-

Shade: NO, You forgot the epilogue!

DC: Why, yes I did. Sorry about that, but the NEXT chapter is the last one. So, what's going to happen? Who will be in it? Will I answer my Shade being a pimp question from my last chapter? REVIEW! (and stay tuned one last time).


	16. Epilogue: Lame ending to a great story!

DC: This is the end, readers! Seriously, this is the LAST chapter, and as the title says, it's kind of lame. Now, for the last time…

Team Nightmare: ON WITH THE STORY!

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Team Nightmare appeared in a large gymnasium.

"Uh, Bane," said Yawackhary, "What are we doing here?" Bane snickered.

"Well," he said, "I just thought an adventure of this magnitude deserved an ending of equal measure." Bane snapped his fingers. Suddenly, EVERYONE from the story materialized where they were. These were Fang, Sam, the private, all the G.U.N soldiers, Rouge, Shadow, Omega, Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Cream, Big, Amy, Cheese, Espio, Charmy, Vector, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakara, Omochao, Eggman, Metal Sonic, Cataclysm, Katy Jackson, Legolass, Aragorn, Gimli, Merry, Pippen, Frodo, Sam, Boromir, Sauron, the ring-wraith, all the orcs, Gollem, J.R.R. Tolkien, Zeeky H. Bomb, Elrond, Shelob, Gandalf the Grey and White, Saruman, Treebeard, the Cat Mages, the 'Lumberjack Song' demon, the announcer from the arena, the Glo-Stick vendor, and lastly Ciel the Hedgehog. "Now, let the music play!" Suddenly, the ending song from 'High School Musical' started playing. Everyone started singing along.

* * *

All: Together, together, together, everyone. Together, together, come on let's have some fun!

Bane: Here and now, it's time for celebration. I finally figured out…

All: Yeah, Yeah!

Fang: That our dreams, have no limitations; that's what it's all about.

All: Come on, now!

Carnage: Everyone is special in their own way; we make each other strong.

All: Each other strong.

Sam: We're not the same; we're different in a good way. Together is where we belong.

All: We're all in this together; once we know that we are, we're all stars, and we see that. We're all in this together; and it shows when we stand hand in hand, make our dreams come true.

Eggman: Everybody now.

All: Together, together, together every time. Together, together, come on, let's do this right.

Yawackhary: We're all here, and speaking out in one voice. We're gonna rock the house,

All: Yeah, yeah.

Shade: The party's on, now everybody make some noise. Come on and scream and shout.

All: Come on, now.

Rouge: We've arrived, because we stuck together, champions one and all.

All: We're all in this together; when we reach, we can fly, know inside we can make it. We're all in this together; once we see there's a chance that we have and we take it. Nightmare, sing along; yeah you really got it going on. Nightmare in the house; everybody say it now. Nightmare everywhere, wave your hands up in the air. That's the way to do it let's get to it, come on everyone!

* * *

Everyone cheered as the music stopped.

"So, now what?" asked a random bystander. Bane shrugged.

"I guess you can go home." said Bane, "Bye, everyone!"

"Bye, Bane!" said everyone as the filed out of the building. Bane, Carnage, and Yawackhary stood alone.

"Well, that's it." said Bane, "What now?" Carnage and Yawackhary thought for a bit.

"T.G.I. Friday's!" they exclaimed. Bane nodded and teleported them away.

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And that, folks, is the end. Or it would be, if I didn't add the 'Whatever Happened To…" section which I am adding right now!

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Whatever Happened To…

* * *

The Private- After surviving the helicopter crash, the private gave up his Cat Mage hunting career and turned to a quieter life. He now lives and L.A and serves ice cream to the stars.

* * *

Fang and Sam- After collecting the insurance on their destroyed property, Fang and Sam moved back to Wisconsin. They bought another house, got married, and now live with their daughter Robyn.

* * *

Cheese- Amazingly, Cheese survived Bane's Celestial Strike spell and now lives with his girlfriend Crackers.

* * *

The Cat Mages form the Lumberjack Song episode- Since the government ceased it's genocide attempt, the Cat Mages now live in public offering horoscope readings, healings, and other such magic services.

* * *

The Announcer- The announcer continues to announce stuff at the First Mariner Arena.

* * *

The Glo-Stick Vendor- The vendor died by internal bleeding after attempting to eat 8 Glo-sticks at once.

* * *

Team Nightmare- The team still lives with Bane in his apartment. Enough said.

* * *

Cataclysm- Resides in a dimension of isolation. Ironically enough, it perfectly resembles Wisconsin.

* * *

Ciel- I have no idea. Ask him.

* * *

Katy Jackson- Went into a coma after the Cataclysm Incident. Not sure whether alive or dead.

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Now, at last, this story is 100 finished. No more secret epilogues or anything. It's done. However, Team Nightmare lives on. Should I write a sequel? It's up to YOU! Review or PM saying whether or not I should write a sequel. Your vote counts. Seriously. So now, REVIEW!!!! Don't stay tuned, though. It's over.


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